We do these things in our own way, one day at a time—striving for progress, not perfection. This is what is meant by “working the program.” KEYS TO S-ANON RECOVERY - Working the S-Anon Program
What does progress not perfection mean in real life? I can be a very critical person. When you first meet me you wouldn’t necessarily know it. I’m extroverted, outgoing, and enjoy meeting new people. And I don’t tend to judge those who aren’t very close to me. But I have a constant personal critic in my head. And those who are close to me often get caught in the criticism as well. I tend to want things to be perfect – it protects my illusion of control and helps me feel a false sense of security.
Sexaholism wrecked my dreams of perfection. For a long time it devastated me – I blamed the sexaholic for a life that, all of a sudden, felt very out of control. I became very angry, often lashing out at the sexaholic in ways that were surprisingly vicious. Then I felt shame for my own behavior.
When I came to S-Anon, I didn’t know how I could “fix everything”. Luckily I found out I didn’t need to. I learned over time to have greater trust in my Higher Power, and I started to apply the slogan of "Progress Not Perfection" to many areas of my life. When I remember to apply the slogan, I am able to celebrate the small victories, reduce the unrealistic expectations I put on others and myself, and find more peace in my life.
Now I use "Progress Not Perfection" not only with myself in personal relationships, but at work as well. It helps me to be a more gracious coworker and a better leader. I share it with my colleagues when problems seem unsolvable, and it helps everyone take a deep breath and choose the next right step. I’m thankful for S-Anon, my Higher Power, and Progress Not Perfection!
As long as we are working the program, we are growing and changing to better ourselves. We are progressing and change is never perfect. Be kind to yourself, forgive yourself for simple slips and remember that as long as you are moving forward, you are further than you were yesterday.
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