Anger is Natural
The five stages of grief are: Denial, ANGER, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance.
These stages of grief can be loosely described as a cycle of emotions that humans can expect to feel, resulting from loss. Grief and loss is a very normal feeling and process. You may feel all of these emotions simultaneously or in parts. You have lost something, the idea of what you thought your life was, or was going to be.
The five stages are described as:
Shock and Denial - Avoidance, confusion, fear, numbness and blame.
As you discover the world of sex addiction, the shock and confusion seems to take over. You question what you thought you knew. You're afraid of what this means and you want to blame someone for causing this. We cannot blame ourselves as we are not to blame for someone else's behavior.
Anger - Frustration, anxiety, irritation, embarrassment and shame.
How could this happen? How did you not know, or face what the truth was? What if people find out? How could they do this? All questions that we have asked ourselves after discovery. Natural questions. The S-Anon program helps us navigate these questions and helps us realize that this was not our fault and we are safe in our meetings to work through the unknown.
Depression and Detachment - Overwhelmed, blahs, lack of energy and helplessness.
Our lives are always busy, so having sex addiction suddenly enter the picture can feel like too much. This can cause fatigue and further isolation. By coming to meetings, talking with others in the program who understand what you're going through and working the steps, you combat this isolation and the issues of sexaholism seems easier to handle.
Dialogue and Bargaining - Reaching out to others, desire to tell one's story, struggle to find meaning for what has happened.
When you are surrounded by program, this is a common practice. Participating in a non-judgmental exchange of experience, strength and hope can help you work the problem. You need to share your story and by doing so you help others work through their problems.
Acceptance - Exploring options and putting a new plan into place.
Acceptance is key to one's serenity which can be achieved by working the program. You can recover the feeling of joy in your life. You will see that others are doing things for themselves which you thought you had to do for them. You will find a new appreciation for the small things in life and accept that the past cannot change but you are in control of your future.
The S-Anon program offers support and encouragement to the friends and family members of sex addicts and we would love to have you share your story with us today.
